May I Have A Word...?

What was 2015 like for you?

Did you have "one word" that you chose to live out for the year?

I know it's a common, fun challenge for people, and as each December comes to a close, everyone's chosen words begin to float around in various social medias. I remember thinking about it in December of 2014. Throwing the challenge around in my own head, I thought, well, maybe I like the word intention. Being intentional with people and friendships in particular. That's always important, right? Especially for a sensitive soul like me! Although as time started to dwindle and the New Year came, I never wrote anything down and I never "officially" chose a word to be mine.

I think it's awesome how anyone can choose a word before the new year even begins. I completely understand that way of thinking and having that word be at the forefront of each and every day. In taking on the task of choosing a main word, I like to think that everyone actually chooses two words. Remember, intention is always linked to whatever word you may choose. On the flip side, I think it's kind of cool to look at your year in reverse. It takes the pressure off, doesn't it? There you are, at the end of the year, seeing your best moments--the moments you are most proud of--and it's then that you discover the word that encompassed your world that year! Heck, maybe you even had 3 or 4 words. Why limit ourselves?

 Reminiscing over 2015, I've decided that my main word was boldness.

I am an introvert at heart and a semi-extrovert on the exterior. Boldness isn't necessarily my thing although (with intention) I can make it my thing if that makes sense. There were plenty of areas of boldness, but the areas that stood out to me were the following:
 
 Boldness to mend past relationships. 

Boldness to be intentional with people despite how I may feel.

Boldness in my career.

I'm not going to dive into everything personal on this post. To give you a summary, I will say that my heart has been convicted to recognize that I haven't always loved others well. That being intentional with somewhat unintentional people (family and friends) is hard, but, in some way, it keeps your own heart from falling into some kind of bitterness and frustration and makes room for a little bit of hope. I will clarify that it doesn't mean you become a doormat, continue to beat a dead horse, or force your way into having a relationship--on the same note, I've also discovered that healthy, God-given boundaries are quite necessary in life. I think my biggest moments of boldness were particularly in relation to my career. Despite any praise I may receive, I still sometimes struggle with being "good enough" at what I do. I wanted more one on one knowledge to solidify my confidence! I got over my fear of looking stupid (and feeling stupid), became a bit bolder, and messaged multiple strangers in my industry throughout this past year! Most of these people were strangers from Instagram and I asked if I could shadow them. Truly, I felt like a creeper, but everyone was incredibly nice and tried to make opportunities happen. After a big push from a co-worker, I even applied for a makeup scholarship! 

I had some really wonderful moments of 2015. Maybe each moment wasn't exactly "wonderful", but there was something to be learned from them. Being bold isn't as scary as I thought. I think we tend to build everything up in our minds too much. We over-analyze, we're fearful of looking stupid, fearful of the outcome, and all the while we're stripping ourselves of opportunity. Sure, things don't always work out the way I want them too. People will disappoint and opportunities don't always pan out how I think they will.

But dang it.

I am proud of myself for even TRYING.
And I'm thankful for the new found boldness to keep trying.

Friends, may 2016 bring you a word.